It hit me one day that I have been so busy with other things to even catch up on my own thoughts!
Lately, I have been undergoing a mental transformantion, and it is the most strange experience of my life. I think when you are forced against your own will to deal with various situations all at once, it makes you feel uneasy to confront your true self, and push those emotions very far down deep inside.
I am an aspiring musician and it is odd that though I crazily write songs about so many things and yet I manage to push my own emotions away. One day I turned everything off and just sat by my window and like water everything came flowing to my brain at once. I surprised even myself with all this build up of things.
I was bitten by a huge epiphany. When you are a kid, everything is fairly simplistic. You wake up, get dressed, go to school, play outside, come home before dark, and go to bed. When you grow up and understand the meaning of love,lust,hurt,pain,friendship...etc, that is when you are struck with the pangs of adulthood.
Transitioning from a little girl with a pink bike with tassels and bells,to a strong and beautiful intelligent woman is truly an experience. Little by little you begin to weed out the toxicities in people and forge deep bonds and connections with friends and family. You may meet the most wonderful person and fall madly in love with them, or be just as happy single and living your life.
You may have just purchased your first car and learn the terror of driving down a hectic street for the first time. I think that transitions are all about making your way through what I call "the years of the firsts", and still being able to survive them all.
This past year of 2010 was a year of "the firsts" for me big time lol. I've stepped completely out of the safety zone and got right into the thrill of the night! it has been so much fun,scary,insane,crazy but all a great learning experience. When I feel down i got right back up and didn't look back...in life all we can do is just live our lives through a trial and error basis and take things as they come until we find that one solid foundation to permanently build upon...